The Theory

Okay, so before I write out The Theory column, Imust advise you or warn you that this ain't a real theory. You see, me and my friends have this issue over life in general, where we pretty much hate it. Yeah, were real downers at times, but if you had lives like us you would understand too. But hey at least we have each other. Anywho, I'm starting to ramble here. So The Theory is a theory (obviously) that pretty much I made up. So yeah, I own it. If you wanna be part of my crew, you must follow The Theory, and treat it with respect. Yes, I'm crazy, everybody knows that. Like I said, it's not an actual theory, it's just....something to cheer you up a bit and help you through some struggles in life. So read...and remember, behave!

THE THEORY

1.) Treat everyday like you would to a party.
2.) Act miserable and bitchy all day to your folks; after supper be all nice and friendly to them and offer to help them out even though their going to bed.
3.) Carry extra alcohol around with you just in case you dehydrate.
4.) Don't forget to share your drugs with your buds.
5.) Never call your close friends your BFF'S. You must call them your best buds.
6.)Must not be embarrassed to make a damn fool out of yourself.
7.)Only use sexual referances when talking to your nemesis. It creeps them out, trust me.
8.)If your invited to a party where the host is a major Barbie Doll, that's the sign where you don't just attend the party, you trash it.
9.)If some one asks what's your favorite song...say "I Wanna Fuck You" by Akon.
10.)When bored during class time, start catching dust or flies.
11.)Eat cookies. Thier healthier than your average salad.
12.)If your folks tell you to take out the trash, take a deep breath and throw a huge major hissy fit at your folks. Eventually they will make your sibling do the job.
13.)If you borrow a pencil/pen from somebody, pretend to give it oral that way the recipitant won't want it back. Now you got a new pencil.
14.)Walk around the hallways at school chewing on plastic knives. That's the latest fad.
15.) Scream the song "Crazy Bitch" in your local mall, and sing it especially louder when the old granny's are nearby.
16.)If you go to a store, and they currently are out of skittles, once again, throw a hissy fit demanding them to give you the hugest bag of skittles ever. Kind? Triple sour of course. Cause everybody knows that they don't make those....yet.
17.)When asked what's your favorite band, calmly reply back...."Fuck You" yes it's a real band.
18.)At dinner time, kindly serve your parents water in their water glasses, and while their not looking, poor Vodka in yours. They will never know.
19.)Find a name that really amuses you and threaten your parents to switch your given name to the one you chose.
20.)Act like a spoiled brat to your parents while in the store. And if possible, cause a scene.
21.)When all the preps walk into class in the morning, break out into the song Barbie Girl.
22.) When saying goodbye to a best bud, simply say XOXO Gossip Girl. I have no idea why, but I find that saying very catchy. Or if you utterly despise that show, simply say your new name afterwards.

All these rules that I listed in The Theory, are things that I have actually done. To answer some questions, Vodka is my absolut favorite drink ever. I only drink it straight, and luckily for me, I am a hard drinker. I also love Tequila and JD. Second of all, I love skittles. Third of all, I have an strange obsession with the song Crazy Bitch. Lastly of all, The Theory is a growing theory. There will be times where I add more stuff to it, and don't worry, I will post it up.

XOXO Charlotte.